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Susanna Wolff

Susanna Wolff

Contributor at The New Yorker

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Email address
s*****@*******.comGet email address
Influence score
59
Phone
(XXX) XXX-XXXX Get mobile number
Location
United States
Languages
  • English
Covering topics
  • House

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Recent Articles

newyorker.com

More Reasonable New Year’s Resolutions for 2017

2016: Declutter your home. Really get organized and start the year off right! 2017: Buy a new shower curtain. Stop wondering if there’s a difference between black mold and just very, very dark mold. 2016: Spend less time on Twitter. 2017: Spend less time on Twitter than Donald Trump does. 2016: Stop smoking. 2017: Start smoking pot. It’s legal in a lot of states now. Not yours yet, but shhh—you need this. 2016: Learn a foreign language. 2017: Delete the Duolingo app from your phone and hope that…
almost 8 years ago
newyorker.com

The Boy Who Cried Nazi

If he dares to fix your grammar, “Nazi! Nazi!” you can yammer. Should a person seem intense, he’s a Nazi, forever hence.
almost 8 years ago
newyorker.com

A Few More Questions for This Seder

Why is this night different from all other nights? Why, on this night, do we go to the Segals’, when on all other nights we cancel last-minute because we don’t really like them? Why is it that, on all other nights, we dine while sitting in actual chairs but on this night I’m sharing a piano bench with Josh? Why doesn’t Twitter just delete the accounts of all the neo-Nazis? Why do the Segals refuse to invest in some folding chairs, when we have this same seating problem, on this night, every year…
over 6 years ago
newyorker.com

C.I.A. Nominee Gina Haspel Solves the Trolley Problem - The New Yorker

Let me start by saying that I support the higher moral standard that we have decided to hold ourselves to. I really do. The original moral standard was torture, so I really support something somewhat above that. Something just a hair above a war crime is, technically speaking, a higher moral standard. Does that answer the question? Oh, right, the runaway trolley. Well, as I am not a train operator, it would not be my legal responsibility to alter the path of the trolley. So, to be clear, it woul…
over 6 years ago
newyorker.com

We’re Being So Safe

We’re just going to have a small dinner. Me, your father, and Emily and Jeff from next door—we’re like a pod thing. So small and safe. Their son might be driving in from Michigan with his new girlfriend as well, but everyone has been strictly quarantining. Really, I haven’t gone anywhere or seen anyone in weeks—months even! I only ducked out to the grocery store yesterday. Well, I had to go to four different grocery stores because no one seemed to have xanthan gum, which I need for the gluten-fr…
almost 4 years ago
newyorker.com

Other Hygge-Like Scandinavian Trends to Make Your Sad Life Seem Int...

Friluftsliv (pronounced FREE′-loofts-liv) [is] a Norwegian custom that means living “life in fresh air,” or more simply, spending time outdoors and being active. . . . Both in Norway and other countries, the friluftsliv lifestyle can be a potential way to combat wintertime sadness. HUNDAFVISE Sitting on the floor to pet your dog, but then your dog walking away, and you just staying on the floor alone. MORSKJULE Rejecting an unexpected FaceTime from your mom because even your mom shouldn’t see h…
over 3 years ago
newyorker.com

My Slightly Unreal Pandemic Pregnancy

The world was going to hell. I was having a baby.
over 3 years ago
newyorker.com

Wedding Update: It’s Still On!

Check in to the Marriott, log into the Zoom dance party, and get ready for the Rapid-Test Roast!
about 3 years ago
newyorker.com

Mother's Day Gifts from My Toddler - The New Yorker

Including a tender little kiss, directly on my eyeball, at 5:30 A.M.
over 2 years ago
newyorker.com

Networks Enlist A.I. Script Generator to Save the Television Industry

A.I. is not merely a “plagiarism machine.” It is capable of generating near-original works of popular schlock, unenjoyable prestige drama, and more.
over 1 year ago
newyorker.com

Thanksgiving Itinerary Suggestions from Your Mom - The New Yorker

After your flight gets in at 11 P.M. on Wednesday night (you’re sure you can’t get an earlier flight?), we have to take you to the new taco place that opened in town. I know you live in L.A. and there are pretty good tacos there, but this new place next to the Nordstrom Rack (the good one where I got you that Fila jacket once, not the bad one with the smell) will knock your socks off. Dad loves their beans! I don’t remember what the restaurant is called, but I bet if we just drive in that genera…
12 months ago