Sophie Len

Joe Rogan is my hero. He’s a real man’s man, and that's what I aim to be. For the past year, I’ve taken his diet advice, and have consumed nothing but red meat every single day. Now men everywhere want to be me ― even my own doctor won’t stop calling me.

Hold on to your butts because this is huge. The government has officially confirmed the existence of UFOs and, presuming there really are aliens out there, I'm officially confirmed DTF.