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Elinor Jones

Elinor Jones

Author at portlandmercury.com at Blogtown, PDX - The Portland Mercury

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Email address
e*****@*******.comGet email address
Influence score
20
Location
United States
Languages
  • English
Covering topics

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    Recent Articles

    portlandmercury.com

    THE TRASH REPORT: Where In the Sewer Is Rudy Giuliani? Plus: Bloody Royals and Dating While Hot -...

    Hellooooo! Welcome back to The Trash Report. I’m the Flonase-filled body balloon formerly known as Elinor Jones. Did you all know that climate change is making our seasonal allergies worse? This is extremely unfair! I feel like there should be some sort of silver lining to the planet’s rapid descent into uninhabitability. Like okay, what if storms are more dangerous, but no more mosquitoes? Or hotter summers, but somehow the heat makes all of our...
    over 2 years ago
    portlandmercury.com

    THE TRASH REPORT: Biden is Out, Kamala is In, and Britney is Confus...

    Hiiiiiii! Welcome to another Trash Report. I’m Elinor Jones. This weekend I was camping at a place with no cell service. What’d I miss? Ha ha, jk. Remember that part in Home Alone when the one Wet Bandit gets into the basement and tries to turn on a light and pulls the lamp string and looks up and gets hit in the face with an iron? That’s how I felt when I turned my phone...
    about 2 years ago
    portlandmercury.com

    THE TRASH REPORT: Winona Ryder and Good Guys, Meghan McCain and Bad...

    All the week's gossip—and a peck on the forehead from Jeff Bridges.
    about 2 years ago
    portlandmercury.com

    THE TRASH REPORT: Trump Jr. Got to See Sublime and All I Got Is a H...

    Let's dig into the biggest, steaming pile of gossip of the week.
    over 1 year ago
    portlandmercury.com

    Normal Gossip Can Keep a Secret, They Just Don’t Want To

    A very fun Q&A with podcasters Rachelle Hampton and Se’era Spragley Ricks.
    about 1 year ago
    portlandmercury.com

    Comedy Q&A: Guy Branum on Telling Queer Stories

    The stand-up comic recently added a section to his show Be Fruitful—about why dinosaurs weren't fat.
    about 1 year ago
    portlandmercury.com

    THE TRASH REPORT: Halle Berry and Sabrina Carpenter Get on the Mic,...

    Your weekly can of juicy trash is full.
    10 months ago
    portlandmercury.com

    The Fast and the Obvious

    Need for Speed: Yes Indeed!
    7 months ago
    portlandmercury.com

    THE TRASH REPORT: Like a Prayer from a '90s Movie or a Prayer for P...

    Hello, and welcome to another Trash Report! I’m Elinor Jones and it’s so nice to see all of you with what limited vision I have remaining after rubbing my itchy eyes shut in this glorious springtime that is trying to kill me. The next time Democrats have power (IF, lol) they should legalize marriage between […]
    6 months ago
    portlandmercury.com

    THE TRASH REPORT: On Sweatpants, Underpants, and Toilets (But Cute!)

    Hello, Trash Pandas! Welcome to another Trash Report. I am the garbage mother, Elinor Jones, here to regale you with gossip and the news. Or rather, my thoughts on gossip and the news, which are much more fun. Pour some sparkling water into that chardonnay and add a couple of ice cubes to keep her […]
    5 months ago
    portlandmercury.com

    THE TRASH REPORT: The President's Ancient, My He-Man Gay, Paltrow’s...

    Hello, Trash Pandas! Welcome back to the Trash Report. I’m Elinor Jones, coming in hot, as in, it is hot outside, and I am hot. I am an Oregonian and I get whiny when the temperature falls outside of my preferred 45-75 degree range. (Climate change has made me more unbearable than usual, which is […]
    4 months ago