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Drew Magary

Drew Magary

Columnist at SFGate

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  • Editorial Page
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  • English
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Drew Magary
sfgate.com

'Civil War' will make you not want to be a journalist - SFGATE

Consider this post about “Civil War,” which opens today, a warning. “Civil War” is a good movie, and it represents a return to form for “Ex Machina” and “Annihilation” director Alex Garland, whose last film (“Men”) was so poorly received by his fan base that they’ve chosen to forget that it was ever made. But “Civil War” is also a movie about journalism. Photojournalism, specifically. It’s about the process of visually documenting a country at literal war with itself, and about the toll it takes…
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I know what happened to Kate Middleton - SFGATE

Kate Middleton is dead. Kate Middleton is getting a divorce. Kate Middleton has forsaken life as a member of British royalty and has chosen to become a humble cobbler. None of these things are true … OR ARE THEY? The internet abhors a vacuum, especially when it comes to news about famous people. Apparently, no one told England’s royal family about this, because the Princess of Wales, nee Kate Middleton, hasn’t been seen in public since Christmas of last year. What little information “The Firm” h…
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A local source for things to do and events in the San Francisco Bay Area including concerts, nightlife, theater, street fairs and festivals, museums and more at SFGate
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Donald Trump is broke hahahaha - SFGATE

Did you hear the news? Donald Trump is broke as s—t! Sure, you already knew that the former president’s empire was built on bankrupt casinos, skyscrapers that are cratering in value, fake universities, fake shoes, unpaid vendors, dodged taxes, undrinkable wines and inedible steaks. You already knew that this man didn’t actually have an empire at all ... that he was full of s—t the entire time. But now it’s OFFICIAL, because New York Attorney General Letitia James was able to prove it in an enorm…
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Apple Vision Pro will make a trillion dollars - Drew Magary - SFGATE

It never pays to be an early adopter. There was a time when every Apple nerd on Earth would stand in line for hours on end just for the privilege of throwing down hundreds of dollars on whatever slightly improved iPhone camera Steve Jobs deigned to bequeath them. But the majority of us know better now that the first version of any tech product like the Apple Vision Pro is a rough draft that will age as well as a banana left out in the sun. It pays, often literally, to wait for these companies to…
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The right-wing Super Bowl conspiracy about Taylor Swift is wildly s...

Now that a rematch of the 2020 presidential election is all but ensured, you and I are about to be flooded with an ocean of incoherent, desperate messaging from the MAGA crowd to will Donald Trump back across the finish line. With outlets like the New York Times still horny for a competitive race (and for all the Trump clicks they mistakenly believe are still out there to be had), and without a thriving Twitter to serve as the nexus of all things covfefe for the disgraced former president, these…
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The one reason Jim Harbaugh will win: He's out of his f—king mind -...

You’d be an idiot to bet against him. Jim Harbaugh is returning to the NFL after spending a full decade resurrecting Michigan’s football program and then bailing just as the NCAA is probably about to bring the hammer down on that program for poor man’s espionage. Harbaugh has come to the edge of leaving Michigan more than once, first nearly bolting to Minnesota two years ago, and then to Denver last year. Both those dalliances ended just as Harbaugh was stepping up to the altar, and both could b…

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This week, I demand the 49ers KILL the Packers - SFGATE

Hello there, 49ers! My name is Drew and I am a Minnesota Vikings fan. You and I have not always seen eye-to-eye over the past few decades. For example, I really wanted us to win our divisional round playoff game against you four years ago. You did not. You prevailed. Decisively. In fact, minus a delightful Jordan Addison snatch-and-grab touchdown right before the half against you earlier this season, most everything about the Vikings/49ers relationship has been one-sided. You have more Super Bow…
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Netflix's 'Rebel Moon' is one of the worst movies ever made - SFGATE

This is the second time that my bosses at SFGATE have forced me to watch a Zach Snyder film against my will. The first time they did so, with Snyder’s hallowed cut of DC’s “Justice League,” I found myself irritated but ultimately forgiving. But this time, I was sentenced to watch all of Snyder’s new space opera “Rebel Moon, Part One: A Child Of Fire,” which dropped on Netflix over Christmas, like a raw potato weighing down everyone’s stocking. This assignment, to me, felt like the bigger imposit…
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'Ferrari' review: Adam Driver was right to curse at that rude write...

If you were online a month ago, and you’re lying if you say you weren’t, you remember the clip: Actor Adam Driver is sitting up on a stage at the 2023 Camerimage International Film Festival in Torún, Poland. He’s unscrewing the cap off of his water bottle while taking questions from the audience about “Ferrari,” a film in which he plays the legendary automaker. An unknown audience members decides to be a hero and asks Driver a question that doubles as an insult. Here’s the clip: “What do you thi…
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'Wonka' has no reason to exist - SFGATE

You know that “Wonka” has no right to exist. You saw the trailer and openly groaned. You said to the person next to you, “Seriously? ‘Wonka’?” You didn’t ask for this movie. No one asked for it. But here “Wonka” is now, and we all must reckon with it. If you’re blissfully unaware, allow me to puncture your innocence. In its never-ending quest to milk the IP teat until it’s red and raw, Warner Bros. decided to make an origin story movie about Willy Wonka, the fanciful chocolatier from Roald Dahl’…
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Draymond Green isn't worth it anymore - SFGATE

Last night in What Did Draymond Do This Time?, America’s least favorite power forward decided to make himself into a “Wipeout” obstacle and — OOPSIE DAISY! — earholed Suns center Jusuf Nurkić with a 360-degree forearm shiver. The resulting flagrant-2 foul got Draymond Green swiftly ejected from a game that the Warriors were leading 65-60 at the time. And I would encourage you to watch the video of Draymond’s assault below because, as with every Draymond escapade, it’s both enraging and strangely…
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Vote 49ers' Trent Williams for MVP or go to hell - SFGATE

This is not a rant against Brock Purdy. I have already attempted, on multiple occasions, to cynically hold up the 49ers’ starting quarterback’s seventh-round draft status as proof that he’ll never be physically skilled enough to rank up with the Josh Allens of the world. That is no longer a viable argument, if it ever was one. The man is legit, and he has absolved both the Niners and head coach Kyle Shanahan of their attempt to make Trey Lance happen. I respect Brock Purdy, and I’m glad he’s get…
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The end of Elon Musk - SFGATE

Secretly, I’d prefer it if the richest men on Earth were special. I know that there are genuinely exceptional people out there, because I’ve watched Steph Curry play basketball. So it’s only fair of me to want our most successful businesspeople to be people of comparable, if not greater, talent. That’s how I thought of the Waltons and Gateses of the world when I was a middle schooler. And in a just world (ha!), I would have been not only right to think it, but happy to KNOW it. If these men real…
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Contact SFGATE - SFGATE

SFGATE is a Hearst-owned news site and also a sister-site of the San Francisco Chronicle, which offers readers a subscription website at sfchronicle.com. For more about SFGATE, including job opportunities, newsletters and a brief site history, click here. Advertising inquiries: For all advertising needs please see our media kit, or contact Sean Jacobsen. Media inquiries: Members of the media should send press inquiries to Gabe Chavez Jr. Website issues: Email our support team. Submit an obituar…
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A dad review of Ridley Scott's 'Napoleon' - SFGATE

Before I even had children, I loved dad movies. I have every word of “The Fugitive” memorized. I once went full “Braveheart” and used “I loov ya. Ullwees have” as a pickup line in college (didn’t work). And I burst into tears at the end of “Saving Private Ryan,” to the point where my then-girlfriend actively distanced herself from me in the emptying theater because she was so embarrassed. So when I saw the trailer for “Napoleon,” which arrives in theaters this week, I immediately knew that this…
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Fincher's 'The Killer' has one of the best fight scenes I've ever s...

If you grew up a ’90s bro, as I did, you’ve been looking forward to David Fincher’s “The Killer” ever since Netflix posted the trailer. “The Killer” makes a return to Fincher’s cinematic roots, reuniting him with “Seven” screenwriter Andrew Kevin Walker and featuring an endless number of quotable, “Fight Club”-esque bro koans throughout the main character’s narration. Also: lots of people die horribly in it. This is the kind of movie that I pretend I’ve grown out of, but very much have not. “The…
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An obnoxiously negative prognosis of the 49ers after Chase Young .....

I bet you Niners fans are feeling quite chesty right now, aren’t you? Yesterday, your team acquired Commanders edge rusher and former No. 2 overall pick Chase Young for essentially nothing. All you had to give up for the man was a compensatory third round pick, one that could replenish itself if Young leaves town when his contract expires at the end of this season. So, you just got a free one-year rental on a guy who was as promising a draft prospect as his new teammate, Nick Bosa, was. And you’…
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Connor Stalions, Jim Harbaugh and Michigan are incredibly guilty - ...

The downside of the NCAA allowing college football players to make money off their names, images and likenesses (or NIL) is that we, the people, have been deprived of the trumped-up NCAA infraction scandals that have imbued the sport with so much shady character over its life span. Who can forget SMU receiving the mythical “death penalty” back in 1987? Or USC’s Reggie Bush getting his Heisman repossessed because his agent let his parents rent a house for free? Or Florida State, aka Free Shoes Un…
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DiCaprio's fake teeth are the real star of 'Killers of the Flower M...

I went to a screening of Martin Scorsese’s “Killers of the Flower Moon” a week ago and have thought about it a great deal ever since. I think about the bodies. I think about Scorsese’s camera exploring every square inch of the Osage Nation in the early 20th century: the mucky streets, packed houses, desolate jail cells. I think about Lily Gladstone’s Mollie Burkhart wheezing, “You’re next” to her husband while in a fit of delirium. I think about Robert De Niro’s character’s wire-rimmed glasses t…
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Pat McAfee and Aaron Rodgers are ESPN's pricey new nightmare - SFGATE

When we last left future NFL Hall of Famer and self-conferred Ph.D. in homeopathy Aaron Rodgers, he was making his triumphant debut as quarterback for the New York Jets, only to have his evening tragically cut short by a ruptured Achilles tendon that he suffered on New York’s opening possession. I lamented Rodgers’ injury on this site because I’m occasionally a decent person and because I don’t like having to watch Zach Wilson play QB any more than you do. But the REAL reason to be heartbroken o…