dailywire.com
Sadly, the president of the United States has passed away, but on a happier note, he says he is still running for re-election. President and Venal Houseplant Joe Biden announced yesterday that though he was now dead, only God Almighty could remove him from the presidential race. God Almighty announced that he already had removed ...
3 months ago
dailywire.com
Well, the RNC is over! And I think we’ve seen just about enough of what the Republican party has been reduced to under the so-called leadership of Donald Trump. It’s time for America to choose. Do we want a courageous leader like Joe Biden, who when he falls down, gets back up — whether he ...
3 months ago
dailywire.com
The Daily Wire has obtained the original script to Joe Biden’s speech declaring he will not run for re-election. The script is handwritten in a fetching blend of Crayola colors including Permanent Geranium, Macaroni and Cheese, and Dandelion, and it reads as follows, “My fellow Geraniums. No, wait, that’s the color of the crayon. What ...
2 months ago
dailywire.com
Flaming spokes-queer for the Olympics Thomas Jolly has issued an apology for an opening ceremony display in which drag queens ridiculed Leonardo Da Vinci’s famous depiction of Jesus Christ’s Last Supper. Jolly, who is gay, which also means jolly, who is totally gay, said in his apology, “I want to sincerely apologize to any far-right ...
2 months ago
dailywire.com
Presidential Candidate Kamala Harris has selected Mostly Peaceful Minnesota Governor Tim Walz as her running mate. Mostly Peaceful Walz won the spot after Kamala rejected Pennsylvania Governor Joshua Shapiro. The rejection of Shapiro was not due to anti-Semitism according to DNC Spokesman Mohammed Akhbar Jihad Mohammed Jihad Akhbar. Akhbar said Kamala was just worried Shapiro ...
about 2 months ago
dailywire.com
The head of London England’s Metropolitan Police Force is threatening to extradite Americans and arrest them for saying things he doesn’t like. Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Oh, Klavan, you elfin merchant of merriment, how on earth do you always manage to reach into your imaginational grab-bag of zany jocularity and pull ...
about 2 months ago
dailywire.com
Well, the reviews for the DNC are in — and across the political spectrum, on media outlets as far-Left as ABC News to those as far-Left as NBC News, people pretending to be journalists all agree that this Democrat Convention was a joy-filled, folksy, All-American, joy-filled, totally normal, full of joy, freedom-loving gathering of utterly ...
about 2 months ago
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Adapted from “The Andrew Klavan Show” on DailyWire+ You know, I was so impressed with the Democratic National Convention, I’ve decided to change the format of my show to make it more like the DNC. So, for instance, before I begin today, I’d like to acknowledge that the land I’m podcasting from is the traditional ...
about 1 month ago
dailywire.com
Election season is now in full swing and voters are listening carefully to the ideas and policies of their candidates and taking the full measure of their vision and intentions for the future of this country, if they’re Republican voters. If they’re Democrat voters, of course, they have no idea what their candidates believe and ...
about 1 month ago
dailywire.com
For those of you who missed this week’s presidential debate because you were doing something more rewarding like twisting your navel lint into the shape of circus animals, not to worry, the Daily Wire is here to bring you this handy blow-by-blow recap. The debate began with a question from David Muir, ABC’s crack anchorman ...
24 days ago
dailywire.com
There was so much news this week, I feel I should begin by just giving you the headlines as reported by the elite news media. This week’s top story comes from the New York Times, a former newspaper, with the headline: “Donald Trump Nearly Gets Himself Assassinated Again.” “Donald Trump’s rhetoric continued to inflame violence ...
17 days ago