Alistair Dabbs

It’s a shame still nothing can be done about all the false positives, though

Can’t open that tin of beans? Put it back in the cupboard and take it out again!

Don’t cross the streams! Why? It would be bad. What do you mean ‘bad’?

Cue robot armies of whiny digital seven-year-olds complaining they’re being ‘cancelled’

I have decided to become a double-spaced, three-word sentenced, humble-bragtastic genius

Where should I sit? ‘Don’t bother me with details, just do it’

And who’s listening to those MP3s instead of me?

A new generation learns the hard way that everything is ephemeral

Hello customer, can I help you? Ha ha, just kidding, of course I won’t

Not to mention the severely disadvantageous subscription model