Robert Kahn

It’s strange to see that while the United States for decades has condemned communist regimes for human rights violations, the White House today calls human-rights defenders communists.

More than 70,000 books have been written about dogs in English alone. Anyone who thinks he could improve on this with 600 words in a newspaper column is a moron. So I will try.

Of all the slavering cowards and morons Herr Trumpf has appointed to obey his orders, few are more ignorant of their bailiwicks, and will do more harm, than Bobby Kennedy Jr.

Donald Trump is planning to stage a Giant Military Parade in His Honor, through the streets of Washington, D.C., for the low-low cost of $100 million. Just like his heroes Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un.

The American Psychiatric Association’s Goldwater rule prohibits psychiatrists from offering opinions on the mental health of public figures they have not personally examined. That rule does not apply to me because I’m not a psychiatrist.

Our federal government today is run by male prostitutes, with a few female abettors. This type of immorality was defined 231 years ago by the great American revolutionary Thomas Paine.

Our rabid off-leash border czar Tom Homan is the very model of a model major underling: an ignorant, abusive, cowardly racist.

The best analysis of the dishonest vicious crap convulsing our nation was written by Paul Fussell, in “The Great War and Modern Memory.” It was published 50 years ago.

Two days after signing an executive order to ramp up and “prosecute anti-Christian violence” in the United States, President Donald McMuskPuppet cut aid to South Africa, for discriminating against white people.

“Corruption and the Decline of Rome,” by a Yale professor of classics and history, seemed a promising way to pick up some tips about America today. But naw. It’s just the same.

We have entered a Glorious Period of Government by Slogans.

I hate to drop names, but I’ll do it on deadline.

Let’s face it: Netanyahu is a Jewish neo-Nazi.

I called up a man who’d been boss of a border immigration prison to ask what he thought of Trump’s “concept of a plan” to deport “millions” of people. The old prison boss replied: “What a shit show that’s going to be.”

The United States is suffering a moral, political and spiritual crisis. The only way out of it is to require any candidate for Congress, all the way down to the White House, to be a jazz musician. I’m serious.

Murder is seldom an appropriate response to anything. Yet the thousands of gloating online comments about the murder of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, though indecent, are understandable.

Pulling into the grocery store parking lot next to me, a woman emerged from her car with the license plate 3habib. We stepped out together and I asked: “What does your license plate mean?”

My friend Raul’s cousin was shot in the face and killed the other day. No one has been arrested, of course. Poor Mexico, so far from God …

When, exactly, did our country begin to slide down these filthy tubes? Could we have stopped it, at the moment it began, and said, “Hey, hold on”? Or is it impossible to spot the moment it begins?

Our beloved country, the United States of America, has been infiltrated and impoverished by aliens — more than 90 million of them freeloading on us, to the tune of $33 billion a year. I’m talking about dogs.