Billy Weir

I must confess that when I heard the World Darts Championship was moving from the BBC to Channel Four my heart did sink a little.

You find before you a troubled, angry man and, frankly, my gast couldn't be more flabbered, my found more dumbed or my smack more gobbed if I tried.

As I write this piece Joe Gormley is now sitting on 174 goals for Cliftonville Football Club.

Today is D-Day for football on the island of Ireland. No, not Dunkirk, but Dundalk, as representatives from clubs both north and south of an imaginary/real border gather to be convinced unity is the way forward.

David Jeffrey praised his side’s resilience after Ryan Waide’s last-gasp equaliser fired Ballymena United to their first point of the season.

Two questions immediately spring to mind when looking ahead to any Ballymena United game at the moment — which team will turn up and just how many fit bodies will they have?

Two questions immediately spring to mind when looking ahead to any Ballymena United game at the moment — which team will turn up and just how many fit bodies will they have?

Sunday teatime and the never ending tale of pain and misery of life begins again in the hands of a national treasure.

I suppose it is Christmas and all that, but things were decidedly camp of late. Whether it was Rylan having a chat with Cher or Hannah Waddingham belting out a lot of show tunes on her festive special, those fans of spot welding were probably at a loss.

Imagine, if you will, an assembly where questions have to be answered truthfully and no one throws a strop, stomps off and leaves us all in the lurch. No, definitely not the one you’re thinking of, but they could learn a thing or two from The Assembly.