Asia Mclain

“In my 30s, I started doing all the things that used to make me ‘me’ before I convinced myself it was time to grow up.”

“He picked out my dress. He saw me getting ready. He still cried when I walked down the aisle to him.”

“My husband pissed me off today, so I hid his keys by putting them in the spot where we keep our keys.”

“Parenthood kinda feels like you got hit by a car and as you get up, someone asks you for a snack.”

“Kids are like hurricanes. You give them a name, they destroy your house, then they leave.”

“Marriage is sometimes apologizing for stuff you did in your wife’s dream.”

Some houses go for spooky. They went for the comedy.

“You might think my house is haunted, but it’s just my kids leaving all the drawers and cabinets open.”

“I love when my husband says, ‘Correct me if I’m wrong,’ like I would ever pass up that opportunity.”

“My science teacher was arrested for murdering someone in a church parking lot!”