Andrew Stiles

Tucker Carlson, the fringe podcaster and former "Nantucket douche" fashion icon, released an exciting new episode this week featuring engaging discussions about marriage, masturbation, and the nefarious schemes of "organized Jewry." He was joined by Nick Fuentes, the 27-year-old influencer beloved by closeted gay incels and morbidly obese anti-Semites. He has been described as a "Nazi twink ... resembling a small child deprived of love and attention."

President Donald Trump tore down the East Wing of the White House this week to commence a much-needed renovation of the 123-year-old structure that has existed in its current form since the FDR administration. He plans to build a fabulous ballroom in its place.

Bari Weiss made history this week as the first openly LGBT journalist to lead a major network newsroom. Paramount announced Monday that Weiss, the former New York Times opinion writer who founded the Free Press, would serve as editor in chief of CBS News. Alas, the landmark achievement was largely ignored by media outlets and LGBTQactivist groups that purport to celebrate diversity and inclusion.

Few media outlets claim to be as passionate about "the truth" as CNN. The failing left-wing network, which claims to be an objective source of news and analysis, has two esteemed reporters dedicated to checking "facts" and combating "misinformation." Yet those reporters, Daniel Dale and Donie O'Sullivan, have been glaringly absent in recent days amid the epidemic of false statements and misinformation surrounding the assassination of Charlie Kirk.

Glenn Greenwald, the disgraced anti-Israel journalist who recently starred in an amateur film involving foot-play and the rarely discussed "pay pig" fetish, has worshipped the feet (figuratively speaking, as far as we know) of an obscure anti-Semitic influencer sometimes referred to as the "Nazi twink."

Karen Attiah, the Israel-hating Washington Post opinion columnist best known for celebrating the Oct. 7 terrorist attack, remains at the Jeff Bezos-owned publication for reasons that aren't entirely clear. New leadership at the Post has tried to encourage its left-wing activist employees to resign or accept buyouts to leave the paper. Meanwhile, Attiah has routinely accused her fellow employees of subverting democracy and promoting white supremacy.

The world's gone dark. Democracy is dead. The haunting sound of Pinocchio's (facial) castration, the shears of Satan snapping shut, the skirl of fascist glee, will echo in eternity.

Exactly one year ago today, President Joe Biden wandered onto a CNN debate stage in Atlanta. Democrats were oozing confidence ahead of the showdown against Donald Trump. They had managed to persuade most mainstream journalists that all the video clips of Biden bumbling around like a demented geezer were dangerously misleading "cheap fakes." Former Hillary Clinton strategist Zac Petkanas argued Biden had "already won" so long as he wasn't "wheeled out on stage in a hospital bed." Biden's campaign team posted a photo of the president "feeling pretty jacked up" and holding a can of "Dark Brandon" water.

President Donald Trump launched one of the greatest and most epically named military strikes in American history over the weekend, when seven B-2 bombers dropped an ungodly amount of bunker-busting ordnance on Iranian nuclear facilities. Operation Midnight Hammer was an unparalleled success on many fronts. Iran's nuclear facilities were "completely and totally obliterated," Trump said. That's impressive, to be sure, but not nearly as impressive as the momentous victory our president delivered for the noble causes of female empowerment and inclusive equity.

Iranian supreme leader Ali Khamenei's behavior in response to Israeli strikes that have decimated his country's military has grown increasingly bizarre and incoherent, raising serious questions about his fitness to serve. Khamenei, 86, is one of the only world leaders who is even older than Joe Biden, 82, the former U.S. president who was forced to end his reelection campaign after Democrats finally acknowledged he was too addled to perform. A Washington Free Beacon analysis of Khamanei's public statements since the start of Israel's preemptive attack found compelling evidence to suggest the supreme leader is also suffering from severe cognitive decline. For the good of the country, his Iranian compatriots should urge him to step down. The Islamist regime, like the Democratic Party, could use a change.