Andrew Stiles

Karine Jean-Pierre can't stop making history. Earlier this year, the former White House press secretary became the highest-ranking openly queer, French-born black woman with a hyphenated surname to publicly renounce the Democratic Party for being mean to Joe Biden. She is the only black female lesbian immigrant to publish a book about her time in the Biden administration. It is the worst political memoir ever written in the history of the English language.

Tucker Carlson, the fringe podcaster and former "Nantucket douche" fashion icon, released an exciting new episode this week featuring engaging discussions about marriage, masturbation, and the nefarious schemes of "organized Jewry." He was joined by Nick Fuentes, the 27-year-old influencer beloved by closeted gay incels and morbidly obese anti-Semites. He has been described as a "Nazi twink ... resembling a small child deprived of love and attention."

President Donald Trump tore down the East Wing of the White House this week to commence a much-needed renovation of the 123-year-old structure that has existed in its current form since the FDR administration. He plans to build a fabulous ballroom in its place.

Bari Weiss made history this week as the first openly LGBT journalist to lead a major network newsroom. Paramount announced Monday that Weiss, the former New York Times opinion writer who founded the Free Press, would serve as editor in chief of CBS News. Alas, the landmark achievement was largely ignored by media outlets and LGBTQactivist groups that purport to celebrate diversity and inclusion.

Few media outlets claim to be as passionate about "the truth" as CNN. The failing left-wing network, which claims to be an objective source of news and analysis, has two esteemed reporters dedicated to checking "facts" and combating "misinformation." Yet those reporters, Daniel Dale and Donie O'Sullivan, have been glaringly absent in recent days amid the epidemic of false statements and misinformation surrounding the assassination of Charlie Kirk.

Glenn Greenwald, the disgraced anti-Israel journalist who recently starred in an amateur film involving foot-play and the rarely discussed "pay pig" fetish, has worshipped the feet (figuratively speaking, as far as we know) of an obscure anti-Semitic influencer sometimes referred to as the "Nazi twink."

Karen Attiah, the Israel-hating Washington Post opinion columnist best known for celebrating the Oct. 7 terrorist attack, remains at the Jeff Bezos-owned publication for reasons that aren't entirely clear. New leadership at the Post has tried to encourage its left-wing activist employees to resign or accept buyouts to leave the paper. Meanwhile, Attiah has routinely accused her fellow employees of subverting democracy and promoting white supremacy.

The world's gone dark. Democracy is dead. The haunting sound of Pinocchio's (facial) castration, the shears of Satan snapping shut, the skirl of fascist glee, will echo in eternity.

Claim: "I'm no expert. "Who said it: Hunter Biden, the Los Angeles-based artist and "former" crackhead who previously served as a senior adviser to the White House, in a recent interview exchange with a Gen-Z YouTuber about how to make crack from powder cocaine, as well as the differences between the two drugs. He is the 55-year-old boy-child of former president Joe Biden.

Exactly one year ago today, President Joe Biden wandered onto a CNN debate stage in Atlanta. Democrats were oozing confidence ahead of the showdown against Donald Trump. They had managed to persuade most mainstream journalists that all the video clips of Biden bumbling around like a demented geezer were dangerously misleading "cheap fakes." Former Hillary Clinton strategist Zac Petkanas argued Biden had "already won" so long as he wasn't "wheeled out on stage in a hospital bed." Biden's campaign team posted a photo of the president "feeling pretty jacked up" and holding a can of "Dark Brandon" water.